eXpress Yourself newZletter Vol 2003 No. 2
CONTENTS OF THIS ISSUE:
ARE YOU AN ARGUMENTATIVE PERSON?
Find out on the Argumentativeness Scale questionnaire.
DR. PHIL'S TEST
Check out the test some major corporations use on their employees.CAN YOU BELIEVE YOUR EYES?
Two amazing optical illusions and two brain teasers,
one featuring U2 and the other, Einstein.
Let's Have Some Fun! The last XYZ issue on Verbal Abuse stirred a great deal of response and reaction. It should have. Verbal abuse is a "dirty fighting" tactic that prevents genuine dialogue in a relationship. Since it was a pretty sobering subject, I thought it time to "cleanse the palette" and have some fun as an appropriate counterpoint particularly in response to those readers who have requested more quizzes and interactive subjects. So this entire issue is devoted to just those kinds of challenges.
See where you land on the "Argumentative Scale" by Dr. Louis Janda, and take the plunge with "Dr. Phil's Test." If you're not a fan of Oprah Winfrey's, you might not know that Dr. Phil is a regular guest on her program, a man who has become an international celebrity and a relationship guru noted for "telling it like it is" to millions of Oprah's viewers. Whether you take his quiz seriously or not, it's interesting to note many major corporations do. They supposedly use this very same quiz to determine targeted personality traits in selected employees. Of course, as this quiz came to my attention as an email, I cannot vouch for the validity or credibility of its contents.
Finally, if you think you can think out of the box . apply those skills to two super brain teasers. It doesn't get any more challenging than U2 and Einstein!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ARE YOU AN ARGUMENTATIVE PERSON?
The Argumentativeness ScaleThis questionnaire contains statements about arguing controversial issues. Indicate how often each statement is true for you personally by assigning each question the appropriate number from the list below:
1 = almost never true
2 = rarely true
3 = occasionally true
4 = often true
5 = almost always trueHere we go
1. While in an argument, I worry that the person I am arguing with will form a negative impression of me.
2. Arguing over controversial issues improves my intelligence.
3. I enjoy avoiding arguments.
4. I am energetic and enthusiastic when I argue.
5. Once I finish an argument, I promise myself I will not get into another one.
6. Arguing with a person creates more problems than it solves.
7. I have a pleasant, good feeling when I win a point in an argument.
8. When I finish arguing with someone, I feel nervous and upset.
9. I enjoy a good argument over a controversial issue.
10. I get an unpleasant feeling when I realize I am about to get into an argument.
11. I enjoy defending my point of view on an issue.
12. I am happy when I keep an argument from happening.
13. I do not like to miss the opportunity to argue a controversial issue.
14. I prefer being with people who rarely disagree with me.
15. I consider an argument an exciting intellectual challenge.
16. I find myself unable to think of effective points during an argument.
17. I feel refreshed and satisfied after an argument on a controversial issue.
18. I have the ability to do well in an argument.
19. I try to avoid getting into arguments.
20. I feel excitement when I expect that a conversation is leading to an argument.
====================================================Scoring Key:
Add up the numbers you have recorded for items 1, 3, 5, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, and 19. This score reflects your tendency to avoid getting into arguments.Next, add the numbers you have recorded for items 2, 4, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15, 17, 18, and 20. This score indicates your tendency to seek out arguments.
To obtain a total score, subtract the first score (your tendency to avoid arguments) from your second score. The norms below provide an idea on how you compare with others.
Score .Percentile
-7 15
-1 30
4 50
9 70
15 .. 85Overview:
According to Dr. Janda, this is one scale where it is better to score close to the 50 percentile than to have a score at either extreme. People with high scores (in the high percentiles) like nothing better than a good argument. In fact, they often live for one. Low scores (in the low percentiles) view arguments as an expression of conflict and hostility between or among people. They will avoid arguments at any cost, even say or do something that diminishes their own self-worth.So many of us have grown up bearing the imprint that arguing is "bad." Or "good." Bad and good are NOT the issue. The issue is HOW you argue how you assert your point of view or how you avoid asserting what you think and feel. It's a rule of human behavior . too much of a good thing, or too little of it, becomes a weakness. And that is precisely true in arguments.
It is naive to think a healthy, committed relationship is not without its share of arguments. It's just as naive to think that winning your point at all costs is a sign of your strength, virility, intelligence, or some other personal or physical characteristic.
Many arguers mistake their aggressiveness and hostility for assertiveness. They believe anything said in the heat of battle is fair, no matter how much it hurts another person. Their goal is to win at all costs even if it takes a personal attack to do it.
If you scored in the 85 percentile or above, you are not an arguer -- you are a bully. If you say disparaging things about another, if your favorite justification is "all's fair in love and war," you may be winning your point, but you are surely losing the respect of your friends and colleagues. You are behaving like a bully and few people like a bully in any shape or form.
If you scored at the 15 percentile or below, you also confuse assertiveness and aggressiveness just like the bully. Let's define the differences. Assertiveness is the ability to express your feelings and thoughts while allowing for and respecting the feelings and thoughts of others. That doesn't mean you have to agree with another person's views. It means you can have a difference of opinion without attacking on a personal or physical level.
Aggressiveness attacks. Assertiveness negotiates.
Aggressiveness demands. Assertiveness dialogues.Arguments do not have to have winners and losers, only participants. Most everyone likes to exchange views and opinions, but such an exchange does not have to turn into a contest of will or intellect, and it does not have to persist until the imagined
"opponent" capitulates to your point of view.At the other extreme, it's hard to know someone who never expresses an opinion for fear it will turn into an argument. It's hard to know where someone's coming from if they never express what they really think and feel. If genuine dialogue is ever to be achieved between two people, each person must learn the skills it takes to express what he/she thinks and feels without using a battering ram or a silencer.
Louis Janda is a professor of psychology at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia, a published author, and a practicing clinician specializing in relationship therapy. I thank Dr. Janda for the Argumentative self-test included above
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DR. PHIL'S TEST
Here you go ... take a stab at Dr. Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55 --he did this test on Oprah -- she got a 38.)
The following is pretty accurate and it only takes two minutes.
Answer the questions as the person you are now...... not who you were in the past or want to be in the future. Have pen or pencil and some paper ready.This is a real test given by the Human Relations Departments at many major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. Or so they claim.
There are 10 questions. Keep track of your answers. You'll tally your responses after you finish the test.
====================================================
1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon and early evening
c) late at night2. You usually walk
a) fairly fast with long steps
b) fairly fast with little steps
c) less fast with head up looking the world in the face
d) less fast with head down
e) very slowly3. When talking to people you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both of your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are speaking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair4. When relaxing, you sit with .
a) you knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you5. When something really amuses you, you react with a
a) big appreciated laugh
b) laugh but not a loud one
c) quiet chuckle
d) sheepish smile6. When you go to a party or social gathering, you
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted. You would
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes
8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers10. You often dream that you are
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant====================================================
That's all the questions. Now, whatever letter answer you gave for each of the above 10 questions, give yourself the equivalent numerical points listed below. In other words, if you selected (b) as your answer for question number 1, then your point value for that question would be 4.POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5.. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
====================================================Now add up your total number of points. If you have
OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and someone who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but they don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. Others enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to your head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who will always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest, not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to the friends you do make and who expects the same loyalty in return. Those who get to really know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but realize it also takes you a long time to get over any trust that is broken.
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy, a very cautious, extremely careful, slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know you aren't.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CAN YOU BELIEVE YOUR EYES?
We've searched high and low to find optical illusions you may not have seen before. Remember an earlier XYZ issue on breakthrough thinking -- www.kohlquest.com/xyz2002no1.html -- the kind of thinking that increases your ability to survive in today's world? Solving the challenges presented by these two optical illusions and two brain teasers will take just that kind of thinking:
1. try this and that
2. look for hidden clues
3. consider an entirely new viewpoint
4. eliminate approaches that offer no solutionHappy exploring! These ought to keep you occupied for a spell!!
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There are 9 people in this picture. Can you find them all?
Do you see an old man ringed in holly or a couple kissing. Be aware, it may take a long time for you to see both images in this optical illusion.
TWO BRAIN TEASERS
With sincerest compliments to Hendrik Ball and George Auckland at the amazing grand-illusions.com site.Number 1
There are no tricks - this is a straight forward problem. This is supposed to be one of the questions which potential Microsoft employees are asked.U2 have a concert that starts in 17 minutes and they must all cross a bridge to get there. All four men begin on the same side of the bridge. You must help them across to the other side. It is night. There is one flashlight.
A maximum of two people can cross at one time. Any party that crosses the bridge, either 1 or 2 people, must have the flashlight with them. The flashlight must be carried back and forth, it cannot be thrown, etc. Each band member walks at a different speed. A pair must walk together at the rate of the slower man's pace:
* Bono: - 1 minute to cross
* Edge: - 2 minutes to cross
* Adam: - 5 minutes to cross
* Larry: - 10 minutes to crossFor example: if Bono and Larry walk across first, 10 minutes have elapsed by the time they get to the other side of the bridge. If Larry then returns with the flashlight, a total of 20 minutes have passed and you have failed the mission.
There is no trick to this. It is a simple movement of resources in the appropriate order. There are two known answers to this problem. Microsoft expects you to answer this question in under 5 minutes!
Need a clue or two? CLICK HERE or copy the following URL into your browser's location window and click return. http://www.grand-illusions.com/answer1.htm
------------------------------------------------------------------------Brain Teaser Number 2
This quiz is supposed to have been written by Einstein. He said that 98% of the people in the world cannot solve the quiz. Could you be among the other 2%?
* There are 5 houses, each is a different color
* In each house lives a person of a different nationality.
* These 5 owners all drink a certain beverage, smoke a certain brand of cigar and keep a certain pet.
* No owner has the same pet, smokes the same brand of cigar or drinks the same drink as another owner.1: The Briton lives in a red house.
2: The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3: The Dane drinks tea.
4: The green house is on the left of the white house (they are also next door to each other).
5: The green house owner drinks coffee.
6: The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7: The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8: The man living in the house right in the center drinks milk.
9: The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10: The man who smokes Blend lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11: The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12: The owner who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13: The German smokes Prince.
14: The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15: The man who smokes Blend has a neighbor who drinks water.The question is: WHO KEEPS FISH?
If you've wrestled with this for a few hours and haven't solved this puzzle, CLICK HERE for the answer.... but don't give up too quickly!
______________________________________This concludes the second edition 2003 of the eXpress Yourself newZletter. Before I close, let me remind you about our web site addresses and invite you to visit them often:
KohlQuest ArtSpeak:
http://www.KQartspeak.comHole in the Garden Wall book:
http://www.holeinthegardenwall.comXYZ Newsletter subscriptions:
http://www.holeinthegardenwall.com/newsletter.htmlXYZ Newsletter Archives:
http://www.kohlquest.com/xyzarchives.htmlCircle of Stones: A Gathering of Women
http://www.kohlquest.com/circle.htmlThanks for sharing these moments with me. Make this day a great one, full of all the blessings you desire and deserve.
Prudence Kohl
KohlQuest Associates
3271 Polk County Line Road
Rutherfordton, NC 28139The eXpress Yourself newZletter is copyrighted © 2003 by KohlQuest. All rights reserved. This document may not be copied in part or full without express written permission from the publisher.
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